yesterday we received a 2-part bill in the mail. the first part looked like this:

the second part looked like this:

call us d.u.m.b. but we didn’t really realize that vaccinations were so expensive!!! we do a delayed vax schedule because we don’t want to put so much stuff into our babies’ bodies. in this case, we had gotten Maeve about 90% up-to-date before we took her to Costa Rica when she was 8 months old. pretty sure after that she didn’t get anything else until last winter when we gave Maverick his first round of shots. so somehow it just didn’t seem like a big deal. but this time felt like a big hairy deal. most particularly since we have been trying to collect our pennies for a “workation” in Costa Rica this winter.

then yesterday afternoon we found an everyday pair of tennis shoes for Maeve, which we have really been needing – flipflop weather is mostly over for people who don’t want to appear as child-abusers (mainly considering that the rest of the family would be bundled up wearing real shoes and boots). we also found some brown boots for her which we have really been wanting – *hopefully* some polish will greatly diminish the major scuffing, but how much can you really ask for in a $2.50 pair of boots.

we were additionally blessed by finding a decent number of pants for Maverick that will go all the way to his shoes and even past, lol. and I was able to get a couple of pairs of shoes for myself that nicely filled in some holes I had in my wardrobe, especially that would work nicely in a warmer climate like… Costa Rica.

and that’s not even all! Maeve has been asking for a bike for well over a year now, but nothing has come up at any garage sales. yesterday she was pleased and proud as punch for that wish to be fulfilled. Maverick also lucked out in that department – good thing, since I can just hear the screams and yells all the way from next summer if they had only had Maeve’s bike to fight over. he is highly impressed with his “motorcycle”, aka to the regular world a little Jeep trike thing.

the most fun thing of the day for David & me, though, was coming home to find the box containing our new, and very cool, line of Blank Canvas ™ Cards. I don’t know, I flipping adore the concept and am really happy with how they turned out – it’s so us. maybe no one else will get it, but that’s sorta up to God.

sigh. happy feelings of well-timed, personalized blessings. (which is what God does best, you know!)

and then today… another down when Nathaniel called and said his good friend who is a girl wasn’t feeling a peace about the timing of moving over this direction and staying in our trailer while we would be in Costa Rica. da da duuuun. she would be the second person to fall through on us in that regard. sooooooo.

what do you do when you felt good about moving in a direction and doors seem to be creaking shut…?
I say creaking shut because we technically still have the money to go, it’s just with the extra $1,050 out of savings (after the 25% discount), plus tickets being more expensive than they should be, PLUS the extra $600ish we’d be out at the end of the 3 months from not having our water and electric paid for while we were gone… just feels like a lot.

could we still find someone to stay here while we’re gone? possibly.
could we get our utility bills reduced? possibly. (our water is pretty much a set rate and our electric is on budget billing, so probably not much)
could we quickly scramble around and see if we can get on our state health coverage for kids to see if they’ll cover those blasted vaxes? maybe? (opinions of healthcare aid being neither here nor there)
could we just suck it up and come back feeling even more fragile because our savings account will look like it went on a starvation diet and has an uncomfortably protruding collar bone? sure. but what if… … …

what if God doesn’t come through for us in a way that looks safe?
what if we’re then left scraping by in a humble-pie-eating sort of way?
pretty sure I’ve tasted my humble pie before and I’ve gotta be honest, baking is not my forte.
(for real. like in a real life, non metaphorical sense. there is just something about exact measurements that make me want to throw things. if you knew my designer working style you would think I’m a perfectionist who loves minutiae, but keep the measuring cups and spoons away from me please!!!)

certainly not least in our minds is poor Krista in front of whom we have dangled the possibility of the trip of her life – yes, those are my words, not hers, lol. and it would (greatly) suck to disappoint her.

but what if God wants a challenge? I always wonder… not that he doesn’t have his hands plenty full with us already, by our estimation – there is no shred of doubt in our mind that any success we encounter in life will be his doing utterly and completely. and not that he exactly needs us to make more of a challenge for him, though. ummmm.

so where does that leave us who had hoped to go ahead and make a ticket purchase today, the best day of the week to buy tickets? (which is nearly over anyway)

faith vs. reason vs. situational leading and creaking doors…

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