a unified contradiction since '04
communal living is one of a few things we talk about on our vlog this week.
also mentioned are double chins, earthquakes, and child leashes.
there may or may not have been some bleeping that occurred, as well as a tiny surprise ending.
I think we’re hopefully starting to get a little better at this vlogging thing, you tell us 
(Krista is also having some fun with trying out different techniques in editing, lol)
The first post in this series {Knowing the Face of God by Tim Stafford] did not appear to be a popular one, but this blog is not about butterflies, puppies, rainbows, and fashion, – it’s a bit of a mind-barf, so read at your own risk!
something I’ve wondered about for a long time – “personal relationship” with God. this phrase is equated with salvation, and really is so intertwined with the concept that many of us have of salvation that to try to change it would be like removing chunks of our brain – just wouldn’t compute. at the same time, it is not found in the Bible as such…
as Stafford points out, our predecessors’ focus was on sin and its forgiveness by way of the cross, whereas now our emphasis has become loneliness and alienation.
why? Stafford believes that we have managed to deny the reality of sin.
it’s easier to identify with feeling lonely than with being a SINNER, and this has been what has guided many of the “come to Jesus” experiences of today.
not only does this cause people to start out on the wrong foot, as it were, in their spiritual life in regard to sin, but it also sets them up for substantial disappointment and confusion.
our relationships with God are personal in that he knows every detail of our hearts and hair on our heads, but they are certainly not personal in a way that we ourselves can immediately identify with on a human level – we don’t get physical hugs and verbal affirmations.
we are instructed to do all the “right” things – church, fellowship with other believers, Bible reading, and prayer for starters, but seldom are we able to find (and even less often maintain) the kind of relationship that we thought we were signing up for.
as time passes we are often left wondering if this really is “it” or if we are not doing enough of the “right” things or doing them well enough and therefore missing “it” altogether.
occasionally we have one of those “God moments” where we seem to catch a glimpse or experience a jolt of how we thought it should look or feel. we then try to hang onto that moment, riding the “high” for as long as possible until we are knocked back down into “real life” again. when this happens it seems to further solidify that niggling feeling that we are simply not grasping the right formula.
in truth, we tend to jump back and forth between striving for that something “more” and the feeling of disillusion that sometimes descends on us in moments of weariness.
sermons do not seem to satisfactorily answer our questions, nor do Bible studies. there are trite answers, to be sure, but nothing that rings true in a way we can really cling to as life continues to bombard us from all sides.
it is for good reason that Paul wrote 1 Corinthians 13:12 “Now we see through a glass darkly, but then face to face”.
the Old Testament only serves to greater confound our unfulfilled longings as we observe a God who broke into people’s lives and spoke audibly as if to leave no questions.
while we find a different sort of interaction in the New Testament, it is in some ways even more relational, describing God as our Father and Christ as “in us”. but the “reality” of our day-to-day life begs to differ.
Stafford describes this dichotomy as “double vision”. he has found that we tend to react to the problem in broadly one of four ways.
Dropouts are those who have suffered enough that they finally seek relief in choosing to believe none of it. whether blaming hypocrisy, legalism, fundamentalism, or another catchword, the bottom line is that they did not find what they were (legitimately) looking for.
Joiners recognize religion as a good thing and their loyal participation comes from a place of practicality, but their method of adaptation involves focusing almost entirely on that which they are able to control and understand – this life and this world.
Enthusiasts are constantly looking for the “missing ingredient”, ever hopeful that it is just around the bend, and do everything to make sure not to miss it. conferences, books, speakers, whatever new thing comes along, they’re right there.
Hard-liners go in essentially the opposite direction of Joiners, ignoring the realities of their everyday lives rather than the tug of their heavenly visions. they tend to be full of answers, and always right.
I’m not sure how much sense this all makes outside of the context of the book, but for what it’s worth I would say I identify as part Joiner, part Enthusiast, with temptations toward Hard-liner I can easily get behind causes and enjoy the challenge of moving forward and making as much progress as possible in this life, but at the same time I do consistently seek out new and greater revelation. meanwhile, though I am certainly a realist and refuse to ignore all the complexities of life, I find the allure of living in my own little “heavenly world” very real at times. and then it’s time to make supper and I’m reminded I’d kinda have to join a cult or something equally crazy in order to make that happen at this point in my very real life
us! woot!
the ridiculously beautiful Jamie over at I Am Not the Babysitter (whom you might recognize from my guest post there the other day) so splendidly bestowed on us the coveted Versatile Blogger Award last month and this is the first I’m finding time to accept – thank you silly holidays and move to Costa Rica .
I would personally like to redesign the button for more my style…being the little researcher that I am I went searching to figure out the origins of this prestigious award. from what I can tell there are two versions floating around the interwebs, but I will just stick with what I got from my nominator.
mostly it’s a way to recognize, appreciate, and encourage blogs that you have that special “connection” to, that have impacted you in some way, or that you just plain enjoy.
here are the responsibilities of accepting such an honor:
nominate 15 fellow bloggers (below)
inform the bloggers of their nomination
share 7 random things about yourself (keep reading)
thank the blogger who nominated you – Jamie, you ROCK
add the award on your post (check)
without further ado, 7 random things about me:
1.) I am a new writer at revolutionizeHer; my introductory post is scheduled for tomorrow up! I’m excited to be part of a great team of strong women seeking to encourage and inspire others!
2.) I have an average voice, but a motivated dad, which in my case equals 2 Chinese worship albums. (my family lived in China for a part of my teenage years and he really wanted to give the house church we left there some worship music in their language. so after we got back to the States he got some songs together and I worked with a friend of ours on having them translated and then the guy at the recording studio, Mark Pence, created all the music tracks from scratch working with my dad on ideas and sounds. the second album was the same way except that I picked the songs. it was 1999 and 2000 (2001?), folks, lol)
3.) this item is kinda related to the last. it’s been almost 14 years since I’ve lived in China, but at the time it was very common that your average Joe (Li? ) did not have a shower in their home at all. most people went to bath houses for all their showering needs. living on a college campus, it was very normal for me to see people wearing the same clothes for a week at a time, especially in the winter. I know there’s a stigma in the States about not showering every day, but I personally do not subscribe to it. I understand people have gotten in the habit of it, and it certainly makes a lot of sense for some occupations and such, but the reality is that I just do not get all that dirty in my normal day-to-day life – my work is at a computer and my hair isn’t the greasy sort. I tend to shower based on smell, how I feel, or whether or not my hair needs a refresher, as opposed to following some sort of societal stipulations. if that is disagreeable to you, do consider that I save on time, water, bath products, and don’t need to use nearly as much lotion as dear Mr. D. (also, pssst, pretty sure most moms out there have been forced – whether willingly or unwillingly – to give up a shower here and there or many wheres) I do generally change clothes every day, however which I realize is mostly just as silly.
4.) I’m always really authentic in relationships and care a lot about supporting other people. I have recently been wondering what my love languages are because it can be a struggle to not feel hurt when I feel like someone isn’t doing something for me that seems simple and I would bend over backward for them. I started suspecting that acts of service might be one of mine. I’ve never felt like I identified with that one, but I am now starting to wonder if I’ve been looking at it from the wrong angle all this time. and it turns out my wondering was right! my top two languages are Acts of Service and Physical Touch. if you’ve never figured out your love language and those of the people you interact with most, save yourself a lot of unnecessary frustration and go take the assessment!
5.) since we’re talking about personality type stuff, which I absolutely love and am fascinated by, I’m supposedly an ENFJ, which apparently means I’m a female Obama. ha. ha. the funny thing is that Mr. D is a male Michelle (INTJ), so… I guess we fit? lol. my semi-complete personality profile is here.
6.) along with what makes people tick, I very much enjoy observing and contemplating relationship dynamics. if I wasn’t in a creative profession I think I’d be in some sort of counseling field. I’d love for Mr. D and I to be couples’ counselors in our old age or something. maybe I’ll be able to get him to agree by then .
7.) aaaaand, last but not least, ummmmmmmm… thinking… thinking… ok, here’s a funny one – I’m always curious how people choose to arrange the pictures they get from Christmas cards and such every year, if they even bother to put them up somewhere at all (and how someone “makes the grade” for getting put in their display area). is there rhythm to your madness??? discuss.
I am nominating the lovelies below:
(and all you have to do to accept the award is follow the guidelines listed above )
A Curious Thing – Jess is open, honest, and refreshing, as well as having fun hair and tattoos – we email back and forth and exchanged some fun snail mail recently
Ma Nouvelle Mode – Natalia is a sweetie, down to earth and real, just what I like in a bloggy friend she also has some great tips on girly stuff! I did a fun guest post on her blog last month about making and keeping special traditions.
Create with Christina – um hello, her name is Christina! she can’t help but be awesome
Girl Willow – I just discovered her blog and ended up reading a bunch of posts because I feel like I could have written half of them. she likes ellipses almost as much as I do!
Delirious Rhapsody – recommended by Girl Willow, and for good reason. I kind of adore sarcasm. plus I’ve been wanting to start vlogging and I like the way she’s doing it. last but not least, her son Gage says crazy funny stuff – possibly even funnier than the stuff our kids say that I generally post on twitter… though they’d give him a run for his money
Life of Love – I just find Sar delightfully amusing. I mean, go check out the pic she has on her about page she and her man do funny vlogs also.
Sunlight After Rain – Sarah is an aspiring actress. I think it’s awesome that she’s following her dreams.
Not Hip Enough to Blog – with a title like that, what else do you really need to know? I appreciate when people just put their cards out on the table. unless of course we are actually playing cards, in which case I want to skunk you fair and square. ACTUALLY, Ali is a stellar musician and a cool peep
Elle Keeps Moving – I’ve been enjoying Elle’s blog for quite a while now, though I haven’t commented a ton. I. just. like. her.
Our Beautiful Little Journey -I came across Noelani’s blog last fall and she is great!
Sweet Green Tangerine – I like her style and gel with her “about” plus she recommends great indie music!
Behind the Scenes – Liz is a fellow RH writer. I don’t know her very well yet, but she seems pretty cool and is starting a girls’ ministry type of project called GLOW.
Stacey Nicole – I think she is a kindred spirit and you should check out this post.
The Neesby Lookbook – can you believe I chauffeured this little chica around one summer back before she had her license and now she drives a school bus? she’s adorable
Someone in Mind – because whenever I find a hip 30-something blogger it gives me hope, and Erin is definitely dope – and I am not a poet
some of them might already have this award, I am not 100% sure, but if not they should because it’s just fun
I started reading Knowing the Face of God by Tim Stafford earlier this year. It’s an older book, one which we gleaned from the library of Mr. D’s grandpa after he didn’t need it anymore, and it’s been sitting on our shelf for years. This felt like the right time to read it. Not too far in I realized it was going to be one of those books that changes the way I think about things. I always markup books, of course, with highlights and underlines and tiny notes in the margin, but for a long, long time I have been wanting to do a much better job of recording what I am learning. Thus, I greatly slowed my reading in the book and in fact now have been waiting to continue until I get caught up on hashing out my musings. I prefer to record first impressions.
The author sets the stage by describing the struggle of wanting to know God and be in relationship with him in an undeniably real sense. He talks about the effect that others’ apparent spiritual lives and interactions with God have on one’s own sense of God; the feelings that arise when you allow yourself to go to the recesses of your mind and contemplate the questions that linger there but are not often fully formed; the longings that are often stuffed down by the realities of simply surviving everyday life. These are my words, and the reasons I sought out this book.
I have experienced times of intense connection with God where I felt my spirit fully alive and engaged in constant dialogue with him throughout my day. It is these experiences which educate my understanding of Paul’s recommendations to not marry. Marriage and subsequently children add so many more things into your mind and heart which were previously much less cluttered. It is unquestionably more difficult to find that sense of communion with God on a regular basis with all the extras floating around in one’s brain and constantly engaging all the other 5 of one’s senses in the impossible-to-ignore way that diapers and hunger and little squabbles do.
If you are not the type of personality given to connecting with your emotions like a surfer at home in the ocean, you may not understand the desire to embrace the melancholy and contemplative moments and cling to them until you have wrung every drop of emotional high out of them. Have you ever tried to have a good cry with kids hanging on your leg, needing lunch?
You can’t very well be in your own little world and at the same time be any good in relationships. I think this may be why the most celebrated artists are often those who meet or have met with tragic ends – they seek out the intensely dark place of creativity where no one can follow, and people are not made to be alone – it is actually, then, a somewhat self-destructive state, a twisted version of creativity.
I do believe, however, that there is a place of creativity that is much more open and vulnerable and engaging. God is a creator, but he involves us in his processes, he does not turn inward and isolate. It is this journey I find myself on, of learning to throw off insecurities and the perceived comfort and gratification that isolated creativity provides, and rather join God in embracing the joy and pain of creating while being fully engaged with all the complexities of LIFE and relationships with others.
So there is this reality that feeling and interacting with God on a day-to-day basis seems to be much less an ethereal experience, and much more a volatile trusting that our present state of mind does not change who God is our relationship with him. It is simultaneously that simple and that complex. And it is this struggle of wanting more that we shall continue to explore in part 2.
have you ever felt fear actually shoot into/through your body?
I don’t know how you feel about heaven and hell, angels and demons, but we believe in them. more accurately, we believe IN Jesus and believe that those other things ARE. sorry if you find this post weird or creepy.
there are times that thoughts pop into my mind which are literally accompanied by icy little lightning bolts of feeling shooting through the nerves in my brain. sometimes the feeling lingers longer than a few seconds.
I have come to recognize that never, not once, are those thoughts from God.
and I’ve come to believe and picture that at that moment there is a demon perched on my head trying to sink its claws into my brain and mess with my mind. chalk it up to reading too many Frank Peretti books in my youth? =)
but I do believe that we largely don’t recognize the reality of the battle that is going on all around us, always. the battle for our minds, the battle for our souls…
I believe that satan’s minions study people to learn their patterns and weaknesses and do their best to push their agenda to the surface, creating whatever kind of chaos, mind games, and general oppression that they can. (I realize how this sounds, but hey, we believe there is a spirit world that is actually more real than what we perceive our “real world” to be)
all that to say, I believe some things have been and continue to be played up bigger and bigger in the minds of the general public to become real issues of fear, and I see the dreaded ‘c’ word as being one of those things for many, many people. you can try to follow all the popular anti-cancer stuff on the market and avoid all the known probable causes of cancer, but it is not really a respecter of persons.
cancer seems to loom like some cloaked evil in the dark, with one never knowing where it is hiding or who it might be after.
but I believe we are programmed to fight for life. and resist evils like cancer.
ultimately, we believe Jesus is the only real lasting peace and freedom from fear and death, but we are thankful for the research that the American Cancer Society is doing to help people have more birthdays. Mr. D’s grandpa had many fewer birthdays than he should have. We wish that our kids would have been able to meet him.
*This post is sponsored by American Cancer Society.
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