what is up with “eve” anyway? seems like it should be short for “evening”. or something. but in this case I mean it in the real meaning of the word, I think, since I didn’t actually look it up, but there’s this thing called “Christmas Eve”, which you might have heard of, and if you have, then you know what that means, and that means that I need to write a really run-on sentence with LOADS of comas, because sometimes I like comas better than periods. hmmmmmmmm wait, that came out wrong. I ALWAYS hate periods. the female kind.

guys, seriously. canNOT believe we are starting this journey tomorrow and WOW to how God brought all the pieces together so far! we have transport! so amazing, so wonderful.

I was telling a friend or two today how I’m feeling kind of exhausted in faith and everything seems rather surreal. even though God has just catapulted us over a major hurdle I still manage to feel like I can’t possibly bear to think any past today. I have this weird conflict of mentally feeling like I need to be thinking about how we’re going to do this, that, and the other – especially monetarily in our personal finances! (we just got a HUGE bill for 2 quarters of our insurance coop) but yet at the same time I feel sort of at peace – like humanly I’m being irresponsible by not stressing out, but spiritually I’m just chilling or something.

I think it’s part of this paradigm shift we’ve been wanting to grasp in our lifestyle, but apparently no matter how differently we’ve always thought/felt about some things, it’s just crazier enough to be QUITE uncomfortable.

it would make sense that paradigm shifts wouldn’t be overly comfortable.

wave good-BYE to our comfort zone’s state line, as it were. we’re blowing this popsicle stand (which is made out of a box, you know where people like to think inside of) and that probably makes sense to no one but my own mind, LOL.

I’m contemplating if you can be spiritually responsible by being rationally sort of irresponsible and vice versa…

but when I speak of responsibility I speak of risk, so…………. is it irresponsible to take risks? I don’t know. at this point I guess it doesn’t really matter. we’re taking a semi-calculated risk. we’re calculating God into the equation.

hope you’ve got a parachute up there, God, cuz we’re leaping.

(you should go check out the other male member of the Blank Canvas team here!)

we will be attempting to post a vlog every day, taking turns being in charge of it!