people, I am forever amazed at the insanity that is Mr. D. he is my He-Man for real, and he killed it on our way home.

do you SEE this mound that we were toting around with us in the wee hours of the morning?!

I had the stroller, one of the rolling carry-ons, and the little man. Maeve had one of the rolling carry-ons – 5 year olds are helpful! and Mr. D had ALL 212 pounds of that other stuff, ON HIS BACK! he’s sort of like the Hulk, in my completely un-biased opinion.

I could go on for a good hour recounting the various aspects of the adventure that was getting home. it was the kind of adventure that is quite difficult to embrace in the moment. But let’s just keep it to bullet points, shall we? I was starting to feel like one of those annoying whiny people with some of my recent posts, so we don’t want to go there…

Tina’s Travel Adventure Observations:

• people in FL wear swimming suits like undershirts? unless it was just a lot of tourists? either way, I’ll call it “fascinating” to be polite.
• speaking of attire, I was reminded that one good thing about living in the Midwest is that at least part of the year people are kind of forced to dress somewhat modestly out of the necessity to try to stay warm. sheesh people, wearing shorts that look like underwear out in public is just… kinda gross.
• I did not think “OH MY WORD, everyone is FATTT” this time like my family all did when we moved back to the States from China after a year and a half when I was 16.
• do those tropical braids (which I’m sure probably have an actual name that I can’t think of right now) actually look good on anyone who is not black, or at least really brown? I am sorry to say I succumbed to some back in 2002 on a cruise to the Bahamas with some girlfriends, but seriously, white scalp is, well, really WHITE.
• as I was waiting with the kids and our ridiculously huge pile of luggage for Mr. D to find our van, I saw a couple of [ablebodied!] men wheeling those flipping $5 luggage carts around carrying a mere backpack and like an iPad. seriously. (and no, it didn’t appear that they were going to pick up anymore luggage) I was like, wow, can I have those when you’re done NOT getting your money out of them?! I hope we have money to waste like that someday. except that I promise you we would not waste it.
• ok, whoops, I kind of got whiny again, sorry. some situations just really beg for sarcasm.
• if one of your kids is about to pee her pants and the other one has crapped his up while you are waiting for two hours in the middle of the night with your huge mound of luggage while your husband attempts to locate your van in one of the vast long term parking lots at O’Hare, running over to catch a group of police/security to beg for one of them to stay with said bags so that you can run your kids to the bathroom might be your only salvation. thank God they came along…!
• when your husband has no phone and is at his whit’s end hopping shuttles and trying to find above mentioned vehicle in the insanity that is O’Hare, all the while thinking of his poor wife and kids waiting for him back at the terminal, he just might shed a few tears of frustration. even if he IS the Incredible Hulk.
• carting 6 large pieces of luggage, 1 crazy heavy backpack, 4 other personal item bags, + 1 temperamental stroller, and 2 small children on and off and between shuttles and buses without a cart actually IS possible between 2 adults. certainly ill-advised and a big-time last resort. but possible. if your husband is a He-Man.
• taking pictures and video, and laughing are all very helpful ways of keeping up one’s spirits during all of the above. as is simply being together, no matter how ridiculous the scenario.
• having a dad who needs a part picked up in CHItown is very, very handy when he offers to pay for your hotel in order for you not to have to start home at 2:30am.

so let’s review: it was crazy. we survived. Mr. D is a seriously amazing man whom the kids and I am sooo lucky to have!

but I promise you, this is not the end of our adventures. not. even. close…

(we happily danced our way home after a good night of sleep.
because that’s how we do. feel free to make fun of us.)

and yes, it is coming later today