The Lie We’ve Believed
You may have grown up believing like I subconsciously did, that emotions are sorta dangerous – fickle at best, volatile at worst. You can’t trust your emotions, and they’re something to be tamed. Self-control. Maturity.
What I failed to realize until way too far into adulthood, is that emotions are just energy “in motion”.
I knew bottling up that energy or numbing yourself to it wasn’t good, but another thing I didn’t realize most of my life is that “logic-ing” your way through emotions isn’t actually processing them. I always thought feeling your emotions essentially meant wallowing in them, which felt stupid and unproductive to me. (Not that I never wallowed, just that I didn’t think there was any great value in it.) So I thought thinking through an emotion and understanding why I had it and all the possible reasons I didn’t need to have it was the way to release it.
What I was really doing, though, was essentially invalidating my emotions by telling myself it was “ok” for this or that reason.
If you’ve ever been around a child in a tantrum, you know it rarely works to just tell them them they’re fine. Their energy is there for a completely illogical reason, but it’s there nonetheless and it has to be channeled somewhere.
The Truth About Emotional Energy
You can think about emotions like water. They can either flood your basement and cause damage, or they can power a hydroelectric dam. Same water, different outcome. It all depends on how you channel it.
It isn’t about “controlling” your emotions or practicing toxic positivity. It’s about being intentional with the energy emotions give you. Because handled with intention, those big feelings can actually be fuel for transformation.
Six Ways to Channel Your Emotional Energy
- Get Your Hands in the Dirt
Emotions can make you feel very heady and wound up, and there’s almost nothing more opposite to this than getting involved in the world under your feet and cultivating a nice green space. That’s because digging your hands into earth grounds you in a way few other activities can. There’s something almost magical about letting the earth absorb your scattered energy. When anxiety is making your thoughts race, the simple act of tending to plants can bring you back to your body. It’s like the soil knows exactly what to do with all that excess energy. If you feel frustrated, the repetitive motion of weeding allows your mind to process while your body stays active, or you can just turn your brain off for a while and work. If you find your anxiety building up, pruning plants requires focus and attention that gently pulls you away from rumination you might otherwise have. The natural world operates on its own timeline too, which can remind us to have a little more patience in our daily life. Moreover, nature is quite chaotic in general. That’s why putting some order to your garden space can be a good metaphor for what you’re doing with your emotions. - Move Your Body
You know those days when you feel like you might actually explode? That’s your body literally asking you to move. Sometimes a walk in nature is enough. Other times, you might need to blast music and dance it out in your living room. The body responds to exercise by releasing endorphins that naturally shift your mood. You might feel irritated, but after a thirty-minute walk in the park those feelings can dissipate more easily. Or, if you’re feeling overwhelmed with life, swimming laps lets you literally immerse yourself in something else entirely. Sometimes you want to be a little more focused, and the rhythm of running footsteps or cycling pedals can give you a meditative effort to focus on, that weirdly enough feels hypnotic once you get the hardship of the physical effort out the way. If you prefer lifting, then strength training can be fantastic for dealing with any anger you might have. Fitness is versatile and you can do a great deal with it, keeping in shape and feeling better at the end. - Let It Flow
No structure, no editing, no trying to make sense, just allow your emotions to come out in free-form journaling. It may be a mess of half-formed thoughts and raw feelings, but the point isn’t to create something meaningful – it’s to give those emotions space to breathe. - Make Order from Chaos
Putting your hands to work can be one of the most satisfying ways to process emotions. Many of us are just hardwired to enjoy fixing, building, or improving something tangible that gives your mind a sense of order even when another issue in life is stumping you. It can be wonderfully tactile too, so if frustration is bubbling up, sanding down an old table or hammering nails into a project gives you an outlet that doesn’t involve saying something you’ll regret later. You might use your power drill to put up some shelves or just fix that old chair you’ve been meaning to. To keep it simple, even just tidying up clutter or tackling an organization project has a way of sorting out some emotions, too. - Channel Art
When your emotions feel too big for words, it can be a great time to emote through art. You don’t have to be “artistic” to use art as therapy, though. Just grab some paper and markers, crayons, paint, or my favorite go-to, a pen or pencil to keep it simple. Let your emotions guide your hand – sharp angles, soft, flowing lines, bold splashes of color, whatever you’re feeling. There’s something incredibly freeing about watching your feelings take shape, and you might even find messages you weren’t expecting. - Feed Your Soul
Maybe it’s the rhythm of chopping vegetables or the focus required to follow a recipe, but time in the kitchen can be surprisingly therapeutic for us, and a lot of people use it as a kind of comfort. If you’re feeling restless, kneading dough or stirring a simmering sauce gives your hands something to do, and of course you enjoy a nice meal at the end of it. Sometimes all you need is a good meal, a sit down, and a good sleep to get over whatever is bothering you. If it’s one of those times, the kindest thing you can do is make yourself a grilled cheese and call it a day. Not everything has to be a grand gesture or a spiritual breakthrough, just nourishing yourself can be enough.
Remember…
Emotions are not character flaws or spiritual failures. They’re signposts, energy sources, and often the exact fuel you need to make changes in your life.
Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, instead of pushing those emotions down or letting them run wild, ask yourself: “What could this energy create?”
Because those feelings probably aren’t meant to be contained. Maybe they’re meant to be channeled into something beautiful.
P.S. If you’re struggling with persistent emotional challenges, please know there’s no shame in seeking professional help. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is ask for support. Think of it as taking care of that inner child who needs a bit of guidance.
