When I met David he was the tall, dark, handsome, mysterious type. Slightly cocky, definitely seemed a little out of my league, to be honest. He had the Latin lover, player vibe. In other words, yummy, yes please, I’ll tame me some of that.
After we’d been married a little while I discovered that David wasn’t who I thought he was.
Vulnerabilities came out.
To be honest, it was a bit disturbing.
I didn’t marry a confident man. I married an insecure little boy.
At first I thought it was just him.
Through the years, as I’ve learned bits and pieces from other wives, however, I’ve come to realize it’s a rather universal problem.
We, by and large, are ALL rather fragile people.
Yes, we are each affected by different things and some of us are more confident in scenarios where others are not. We show or hide it in a myriad of ways. But those closest to us, if we let them, or if they see past our walls despite our coping mechanisms, come to realize our insecurities.
The people who seem to have it all together? The people we admire? They’re the people who have figured out how to push past it and just put themselves out there anyway. Perhaps they are the people who understand that confidence is one of those areas where “fake it ’till you make it” is a somewhat necessary approach.
Can you do it wrong? Sure. Doing it wrong looks arrogant and cocky and makes everyone secretly hate you.
Doing it right mostly involves caring about people. About making people feel awesome when they’re with you.
The truth about people who have it all together?
No one has it all together 100% of the time. The ones who surround themselves with the right people, make habits that carry them through the inevitable crap of life, and don’t take themselves too seriously, those are the people who manage to look the most together.
So stop thinking that you’ll never “have it all together”… you, too, could be one of those people, with a few well-placed decisions 🙂