while we were in Costa Rica I was feeling pretty gross… yes, there were lots of fruits and vegetables, but there was also an overabundance of white flour and rice. and maybe just a few late night ramen parties… oh my word, that picture makes me HUNGRY. seriously, SO yummy. ok, but so not good for my stomach, sheesh.
I had mentioned previously about being a bit of a lard at the moment, and when we got back I waited to step on the scale until after a weekend of binging on snacks and sweets at the marriage retreat we attended. so Monday was the fateful day, and the scale told the same story that my ill-fitting clothes had already spoiler-alerted me to.
I had, however, promised myself that I would kick-start my getting back into normal eating mode by detoxing the first week back in the States. I was trying to figure out what I should do and kind of asked God for something and felt like the lemon detox (aka master cleanse?) was what I needed right now.
I was fairly certain things would go as they have in the past when I’ve made similar attempts = basically just really pissed that I can’t eat, PLUS no weight loss. I mean, as you can see from the picture, I did kind of downgrade from the recommended “fresh” lemon juice and “organic” pure maple syrup. but this family’s budget says no to that, not to mention my Low Maintenance Girl tendencies.
well, this is day 5, and I am quite happy to say that the first 3 days were AMAZINGLY easy – I honestly wasn’t even hungry. (my stomach was probably still digesting all the weekend crap, lol) yesterday I didn’t start drinking as early as I should have and ended up running out of maple syrup, as you can see from the picture, so I was actually hungry and started to get that frustrated feeling. a carrot with some salt sounded like a feast! I just could NOT stand to intake any more sweetness, even if I would have had the maple syrup I needed.
I came really close to caving, especially since we decided to finish the last episode of Downton Abbey and eating and watching something go hand-in-hand, you know… but Mr. D encouraged me and I decided to just drink some chicken broth – technically cheating, but I didn’t have much for options, so.
my most favorite part of this whole thing is that I’ve actually almost accomplished half of my goal of 12 pounds! obviously I’ll probably get a bit back when I start eating again (and exercising, which I have been dying to do now that I’m back to my exercise ball and stair-stepper!), and just pounds on a scale is not the real goal, but wow how I DO love parts of my body not touching other parts that aren’t supposed to. I intend to basically stick with the foods I was eating last summer that helped me meet my get-back-to-wedding-weight goal, as well as portion control, which tends to be my biggest problem.
so thankfully, this week has largely been a blessing, not full of bad moods like I was afraid of. I was reading a devotional this morning that I felt pertained:
Anger can be traced to a few sources. First, when we lose control of a circumstance that we have placed certain expectations on and those expectations do not result in our desired outcome, we are tempted to get angry. The source of this type of anger is both fear and protection of personal rights. You see, when we believe we have a right to something, we have not given the Lord permission to allow an outcome different from what we want. If an outcome is different from our expectations, this may stimulate fear.
in this case, I feel like food is a right, which is what makes me so mad when I can’t eat. but I have definitely experienced the fear-based anger as well. I try to keep the whole “emotions are like the car dashboard for your heart” thing in mind, but sometimes it is just hard to care in the middle of things 🙂
how about you? does not eating make you mad at the world?
I definitely think about all the many people around the world who have much more right to be angry they can’t eat than “poor” little old me in the USA.